SEX AND BEING SINGLE

When I was single and had tasted the forbideen fruit of fornication--everyday I was not married was such a struggle for me. And I look back on the failed relationships that included sexual sin in them that caused much pain for me and them. Perhaps many single Christians are dealing with the same struggle?

What can we do?

First there is no easy fix. Paul tells us in Romans 7 that "I do what I hate and what I want to do I do not do" (paraphrasing). Our spirit wants to stay pure, but our flesh cries out to be satisfied. So the best we can do is to cling tight to the Lord's promise that HE has something so much better to offer. We need to begin to pray for God to sustain us and to fill the void of not being married with a revelation of just how HE wants us to be serving HIM while we are single. We need to let God fill what man cannot. Just like married Christians who also struggle with lust and sinful desires--we have to keep our hearts protected from Satan's lies and deception. We have to keep ourselves filled with heavenly things--what we read, what music we listen to, and keeping our thoughts and eyes on Jesus!

Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 7 that its better not to marry due to the greater and more undisturbed service we can render to God. But he also says if passion burns too much in us (like it did me) that we need to marry. I realize this is much easier said than done for many single Christians.

THERE IS NO EASY SOLUTION HERE--other than God can do what we cannot. When we are weak--HE is strong. Let us keep calling on HIM when we feel weak and tempted. Let us strive to keep ourselves pure. If you are single, get involved in a strong Christian singles group with other Christians who can give you and you give them much encouragement. Stay surrounded by those who would hold you accountable.

When I worked at CiCi's, one of my brothers, Tom Grace, would always pull me aside and ask me if I was sleeping with whoever I was dating. I did not always like such questions--and I am sure most would be offended at such inquiries--but thats how much Tom loved me and he knew how things worked--since he had been single before and liked women as much as I did. But I thank God everyday for a brother like Tom who held my feet to the fire. Its better to be uncomfortable and be called out than to suffer the awful consequences for sin.

God is faithful. Cling close to HIM and HE can handle your struggles. HE can fulfill so much more than the things of the flesh that we are so convinced we have to have.